It is the version of the story that ends up in a drawer and gets found in thirty years.
The funeral director has asked for “a few words for the booklet” and they need them by tomorrow so the order of service can go to print. This guide covers that short written tribute: what it is, how long it should be, what goes in, and how to get it right the first time, because once it is printed it cannot be changed.
What it is, and what it is not
The printed tribute is a short piece about the person’s life that sits inside the order of service, usually on an inside page or the back cover. People read it while they wait for the service to start, and many take the booklet home and keep it.
It is different from the other pieces of writing a funeral asks for:
- A eulogy is spoken, longer, and can ramble a little. See how to write a eulogy.
- A funeral notice is the public announcement with the service details.
- The printed tribute is short, factual at its core, and permanent. It is the version of the story that ends up in a drawer and gets found in thirty years.
That last point is a good guide to tone. Write it for a great-grandchild who never met the person.
How long it should be
Ask the funeral director how much room there is before you write anything. The answer depends on the size of the booklet, the number of photographs and how many hymns or readings are printed in full.
As a general guide:
- A short tribute beside a photograph is around 80 to 150 words.
- A fuller life summary on its own page is around 200 to 350 words.
If you are given a word limit, keep to it. Text squeezed into a smaller font is hard for older eyes in a dim chapel.
What to include
You will not fit all of this. Pick what matters most for this person.
- Full name, and the name they actually went by
- Date and place of birth, and date of death
- Parents, and where they grew up
- Partner or partners, and the years together
- Children, grandchildren and others they were close to
- Work, service, trade or calling
- The places they lived
- What they loved doing
- One or two details that only they had
The last item is what makes it worth reading. Dates tell people when someone lived. A detail tells them who was there.
A template you can adapt
Fill in the brackets, then rewrite it in your own words so it does not sound like a form.
[Full name], known to everyone as [name], was born in [place] on [date], the [eldest, youngest, only] child of [parents].
[He, She, They] grew up in [place] and [one line about childhood or schooling]. In [year] [name] [began work as, joined, trained as, moved to], and spent [number] years [what they did].
[Name] met [partner] in [year, place or circumstance]. Together they [raised, built, travelled, farmed], and [name] was a [parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend] to [names or a short description].
[Two sentences about what they loved and one detail that was theirs alone.]
[Name] died [peacefully, at home, at a named place if the family wishes] on [date], aged [age].
A worked example
This is an invented person, at about 170 words.
Margaret Anne Doyle, known all her life as Peg, was born in Kalgoorlie on 3 March 1938, the youngest of four children of Tom and Eileen Hartley.
Peg grew up in Boulder and left for Perth at seventeen to train as a nurse. She worked on the wards for more than thirty years, most of them on night shift, and was still being stopped in the street by former patients well into her eighties.
She married Frank Doyle in 1962. They raised three children in Bassendean, in a house Frank built and Peg never stopped repainting. She was Nan to seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
Peg loved the trots, a strong cup of tea and her roses, which she pruned harder than anyone thought wise and which flowered anyway. She did the crossword in pen.
Peg died peacefully at home on 29 September 2026, aged 88, with her family beside her.
Getting the tone right
Third person, past tense. “Peg loved the trots”, not “Mum loved the trots”. The booklet is read by everyone, and third person keeps it steady. If the family would prefer a personal note, add a short signed line at the end, such as “With love from her children”.
Plain words. “Died” is clear and kind. “Passed away” is also fine if that is how your family speaks. Avoid phrases that the person would have rolled their eyes at.
Faith or no faith. If the service is religious and belief was central to the person, say so directly, for example naming the parish they belonged to for forty years. If they were not religious, there is no need to add religious language to the tribute, even where the venue is a church. Follow the person, not the building.
Facts over praise. “A wonderful mother” tells the reader less than “she drove the netball team to every away game for eleven seasons”. Let the facts carry the praise.
The hard parts
- Complicated families. Former partners, estranged children and stepfamilies are where printed tributes cause hurt. Decide as a family who is named, and apply one rule to everyone. If naming people is too fraught, use a general line such as “loved by a large family”.
- Cause of death. You do not have to state it. Some families do, particularly after a long illness, and some do not. Either is fine.
- Gaps and hard years. You can leave them out. A tribute is a selection, not a sworn statement.
- Long lists of names. If the list of grandchildren takes up half the space, consider “eleven grandchildren” and save the names for the eulogy.
Check before it goes to print
Mistakes in a printed booklet are the kind that get remembered. Before you send it:
- Check every date against a document, not from memory.
- Check the spelling of every name, including maiden names and place names.
- Count the grandchildren twice.
- Read it aloud once, slowly.
- Send it to one other family member and ask them to check only the facts.
- Ask the funeral director for a proof of the laid-out page, and read the proof as well.
When you send the text, send it typed in an email or a document, not as a photograph of handwriting. It will be copied and pasted, and that avoids new errors.
Using the same words elsewhere
Once the tribute is written, it will be useful again: as the outline for the eulogy, as the caption on a memorial page, or as the opening card of a photo tribute. If you are also putting together photographs, there is a guide to choosing photos for a memorial film.
Tribute Studios keeps the story, the photographs and the film for one person together in one place, and you can read how it works if that would help.